I've been cast as the new james bond and I'm reallly gonna phone it in, sorry everyone

@touk just for that the writers are adding another genital torture scene

@MmeLibertine fine but they're gonna green-screen me into it

@touk on a super-advanced wristwatch spy phone, I hope (Apple watch)

doesn't matter to me, contractually I refuse to wear any watch, they'll have to CGI it in post

@touk Doing the classic line "I’m James fucking Bond, what's all this then"

@andi in the worst, fakest british accent you've ever heard

@touk Full 'US podcaster overconfidently attempting cockney' Australian

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